Fostering Independence, Reducing Risk

Digging in the dirt. It doesn't tend to hold them for too, too long, but it's pretty nearly always their starting point.

Nora goes UP the slide. Very exciting. It's a challenge, isn't it? And one I allow when we're the only ones on the play structure. Otherwise (recite with me, boys and girls), "You go UP the stairs and DOWN the slide".

Dries loved, loved, loved this wheel. He spent a solid 25 minutes standing here before snack, and went right back to it afterward. Brrrmmm!

Whoo, Ella! Great extension. This girl has the makings of a dancer, or a gymnast, or, given her personality, maybe an acrobat??

On this trip to the park, Addie mastered the climbing wall! My rule for climbing apparatus is that "If you need help, it's not safe for you." This is in part to spare my back the pain of having to lift a child repeatedly, or the tedium of assisting them up a ladder seventy-gazillion times in a row, but it also happens to be true.

I will show them how to do something a few times, but if it remains beyond them, I step back. At that point, a few things could happen. They could decide to do something else. They could persist in trying, and what usually happens then is that they manage part of the task, but not enough to harm themselves. It's good practice, though! Or, they might actually figure it out on their own.

I watch, of course, but unobtrusively. I want the child to think they're on their own. (In part to preclude demands that I help, but also to give them the autonomy to pursue this to their own satisfaction.)

(They could also throw a fit and demand you help them, but that's the subject of another post...)

Addie needed to be directed a couple of times, and after that she was independent. I spotted her when she was moving from the top of the wall to the platform, the riskiest bit, but she pretty much has that nailed, too.

It is my firm belief that children who are lifted up ladders, assisted continually, who are hovered over and micro-managed and never allowed to risk a bump, bruise, or tumble become children who can't manage risk.

If you get halfway up a climbing wall, and then slide down, giving your chin a whack on the way down, well, that's not pleasant, but it's not life-threatening. And then you learn that hey, maybe I need to put my left foot in the holes on the left. Whether or not you can articulate the ideas, you learn something about balance and grip and centre of gravity. And next time, you are far less likely to slip. Eventually, you trip, fall, tumble and face-plant far less than the child who was never allowed to take that unpleasant slither down the climbing wall.

Addie's climbing wall, Ella's uber-extension, Nora's trip up the slide ... they're all small risks. But you know, when they're allowed to take them, kids are remarkably good at managing risk. Yes, they're inexperienced, uncoordinated and clumsy, but ... Think of how inexperienced and uncoordinated they are, and then think how rarely they get a goose-egg or a bruise. They do pretty well, and only get better with practice!