It's not as rude as it looks...

When the children precede me up the stairs to bed, I almost always swat their wee butts as the scramble up ahead of me. Much giggling ensues as they scramble ever faster and I make ferocious growling noises, drumming on every bottom within reach. Swat, swat, swat! Giggle, giggle! Whee, fun! (Because it's very important to keep them calm and quiet right before naps...)

Every parent knows how irresistible a tiny toddlers bottom is. Often when they pass me in a room I'll swoop down and give a quick tap to a wee butt. "Cute bum!" I carol. "Cute bum! What a cute bum!"

Of course, when one child gets that sort of attention, everyone wants it, and soon I am surrounded by small children, each demanding "Cute bum! Do me a cute bum!!!"

It's cute, all right, but I have other things to do in a day besides swat your children. What does one do when one's work responsibilities become onerous?

One delegates, of course.

"Do me a cute bum, Addie!!" Addie hastens to comply.

 "Now I will do YOU a cute bum!"

 Heh.

They are cute, your children, from head to toe. Including their bums.